Arnold Humor Political Schwarzenegger
“Barnes and Noble is running a great promotion on the Sarah Palin book. You buy the Sarah Palin book, they will throw in a free Mayan calendar.” – David Letterman
“The ratings just came in for Sarah Palin’s appearance on ‘The Oprah Winfrey Show.’ It earned Oprah her highest ratings since the episode where she reunited the Osmond family. Yeah, viewers who saw both episodes say Palin’s more likable but that Donny and Marie are more qualified to be president.” – Conan O’Brien
“John McCain, Sarah Palin’s former running mate, read the Sarah Palin memoir. After 23 years of military service, five years as a prisoner of war, 22 years as a U.S. senator, I’m sure that John found Sarah’s story very inspirational.” – David Letterman
“A lot of people are saying that it’s too soon for Sarah Palin to write a memoir. They say she should wait until she had at least ten more years of inexperience.” – David Letterman
“Sarah Palin’s book is now available on kindle, and, coincidentally, I’m using my copy as kindling.” – David Letterman
“President Obama is getting ready to pardon the White House turkey, the Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner.” – Jay Leno
“I don’t want to say Geithner is not doing a good job. But, today, God asked for his name to be taken off the bill.” – Jay Leno
“The White House and the Senate Democrats are working on a new jobs bill. The White House said this new jobs bill could create twice as many non-existent fake jobs as the last one.” – Jay Leno
“Now, three weeks ago, they said the $787 billion stimulus-thing created one million new jobs. Then, last week, they said it was really only 640,000 jobs. Now, they’re saying they really don’t know. You know how to create a new job? Fire the guy in charge of counting.” – Jay Leno
“Over the weekend, the Senate voted to allow debate on the healthcare bill. Can you believe that? It’s like fighting over whether or not to fight.” – Jimmy Fallon
“There’s a lot of controversy over this section of this new health care bill that says if you don’t buy health insurance, you can go to jail for five years. They say it’ll prevent freeloaders of the system. Yeah, but — well, if they do go to jail, won’t they get free health care for five years?” – Jay Leno
“That evil guy, the evil masterminding terrorist Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, he is going on trial here in New York City. I will tell you something, this guy is nothing but evil. One time he called CNN and told him that his son was floating away in a balloon.” – David Letterman
“Khalid is expected to get a tough reception here in New York City because everybody hates him. You know, why not? Here’s a guy you can hate. And on top of that, he’s a Red Sox fan.” – David Letterman
“Legal experts are worried about having [Khalid Sheikh Mohammed's] trial here in New York City with this guy because they think he’ll use the trial as a soapbox. Use the trial as a soapbox. Have you seen the guy, there he is. If he does, it will be the closest this guy has been to soap in years.” – David Letterman
“President Obama was in China last week. Today, the Chinese government sent him a beautiful gift. Did you see this on the news tonight? It was a 10% off coupon at Wal-Mart.” – Jay Leno
“California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger says he will not run for another office once his term as governor is over. And the amazing thing — do you know what he’s going to be doing after this? He’ll be a speech therapist.” – Jay Leno
“It’s a big week for Chuck Schumer. First his birthday and then being named sexiest man alive.” – David Letterman
Book Review: Ralph Nader’s “Only the Super-Rich Can Save Us!”
Posted on 25 November 2009
In Ralph Nader’s new book “Only the Super-Rich Can Save Us!” he originates what happens when seventeen of the world’s richest people stop twiddling their thumbs and do something useful. They get together and, like superman, use their superpowers to will a better world into fruition. Nader calls the book a “practical utopia” because the superpowers used to achieve great feats are not superhuman. Nader writes, “It should have been so obvious, inasmuch as it takes only a tiny fraction of a percent of very wealthy and open handed protagonists to get major change under way” (p.169). The obviousness is apparently not that obvious and a bit over exaggerated seeing as to how things here on the ground are not getting better. “Only the Super Rich Can Save Us!” is dripping with idealistic overtones. Randomly throughout the book I caught my self thinking, really?! Did Ralph Nader just go there? Does he really think the people in Oklahoma would vote independently? And oh my goodness really?! How would Yoko Ono respond to Ralph Nader writing that she would even consider hooking up with…
The book makes clear that Ralph Nader comes from another generation. His old school humor and good ole American charm is a bit excessive but refreshing for the new cynical liberals of America. The gist is, under the direction of America’s most successful investor, Warren Buffet, the billionaires and millionaires in “Only the Super-Rich Can Save Us!” use their wealth, political clout, connections, and star power to, yes, make the world a better place. Mid way through the book the group calls themselves the meliorists. The term describes those who believe a better world can be achieved by concerted human work and effort. Beautiful, I know, but the dialogue between the meliorists and their actions throughout the book reads like an encyclopedia of policy recommendations. Which clearly illustrates that nobody knows American politics like Nader. And even with all of his witty and critical analysis, not to mention, hilarious mocking of those in power, such as Arnold Schwarzenegger, Nader is still hopeful! He must have something up his sleeve and a whole lot of ideas. The following are just some of the ideas and the projects Nader writes for the meliorist. However, to see the breath of initiatives and their social, cultural, and political impacts on America you must read the book.
One example of an environmentally conscious initiative is when the eccentric Yoko Ono sends energy efficient light bulbs to every American household. The compact fluorescent light bulbs are a way to lower utility expenses for average Americans and a small but significant way to limit energy consumption. Enclosed with the light bulbs and the particle explanation as to why people should use them is Yoko Ono’s artwork for people to contemplate and appreciate. This stylish approach to particle change permeates throughout “Only the Super-Rich Can Save Us!.”
William Gates Senior, now most famous for being the father of the richest man in the world, organizes “People are Corporations” jamborees in various cities throughout the United States. These jamborees galvanize average Americas around the idea that people can be corporations too. This storyline sheds light on the fact that corporations are given a disproportionate amount of liberties in comparison to individuals. Nader extrapolates that a corporation is legally seen and treated as though it were a person but not bound to the same social contact. The corporation is liable for the corporation’s debts but shareholders are shielded from personal liability as are officers and directors, absent any wrongdoing. Therefore, corporations are granted all the same legal rights of as individuals, however do not share the same consequences if they are in violation of the law, which leads to corporate welfare.
The classic American actor and Hollywood stud, Warren Betty forged a campaign to reform and rejuvenate California. He challenges current governor of California Arnold Schwarzenegger on unemployment, water purity, pensions, and most of all tax reform. When Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger refuses to change tax cuts for the rich and reallocate money to stimulate California’s malnourished economy Warren Betty decides to submit his own candidacy for the governorship of California. The dialogue between Warren Betty and Arnold Schwarzenegger is hysterical and full of Nader’s political satire.
The meliorists challenge the largest corporations in the world. They decide in favor of a proposal to take over General Motors “turning it around would be the greatest environmental, geopolitical, economic, and health and safety advance in American history” (p. 488). They also embark on the difficult task of unionizing Wal-Mart and expose the corporate union busters, through this large subplot one extrapolates huge inequalities and corrupt business practices made by Wal-Mart. For example, Wal-Mart could give each of its workers a $1 per hour raise without affecting their annual $12 billion profit margin and full time employees make $2,000 below the Federal Poverty line while the CEO makes close to 30 million dollars annually.
While all this political and practical maneuvering is going on, meliorates Paul Newman and Bill Cosby, set up political decoys to distract republicans in congress. One is a “Pledge the Truth” bill which calls for a more truthful Pledge of Allegiance. The bill proposes changing the last word of the Pledge of Allegiance from “all” to “some”. Therefore, it will no longer be read “with liberty and justice for all” but rather, “with liberty and justice for some.” The other bill is to change the national anthem from the Star Spangled Banner to America the Beautiful. The point of these initiatives is not only are they changes the meliorates would like to see but they are decoys—conservatives will be distracted fighting democrats about the semantics of the Pledge of Allegiance. the progressives in congress can pull through other more important initiatives such as election reforms to “advance clean and transparent elections, effectively clean up the environment, and otherwise galvanize Congress and the corporate behemoths to be accountable to the people” (p. 244).
At the end of the book the world looks quite different then it does now, ill from the ineffectual and corrupt policies of the Bush administration. The inadequate response to Hurricane Katrina, 9/11, global warming, and lack of basic health care for Americans are responded to by the ingenuity of super-rich people such as, Ted Turner, Barry Diller, Joe Jamail, George Soros, and Sol Price with enthusiasm and style.
Today, we are routinely reminded about the financial crisis, the ongoing wars in, well many places, election corruption, lack of a sustainable health care system in the United States; the globalizing economy failing the people in poverty, environmental plunder, this list goes on. What Ralph Nader does in “Only the Super Rich Can Save Us!” is meticulously outline solutions to these problems. We are talking, 733 pages of detail oriented policies and practical ways to tackle these tribulations! To the super-rich, Nader’s book says you might not be superman but you have more power than you think—use it! To the disgruntled and demoralized youth that cannot not find good paying jobs, so they are reading Nader’s new and entertaining book and to the disillusioned by the inequality and plunder around the world, Nader writes this book saying, imagine the possibilities, here is a voice of clarity for very confusing times. Personally, I don’t know if Warren Buffet or any of Nader’s protagonists want things to change because they seem to be profiting under the existing structure but then again, maybe that’s the point.
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