Bathroom Humor Joke
I’m not one to usually take a public stand and fervently champion it, proslytizing my beliefs and actions as the one and only way. I’m more a behind the scenes kinda girl.
That being said, there are certain things I am adamant about, things that for me are just not gonna happen. These may not be true for everyone, but for me, these are written in stone.
1. Eat veal – if you want to ban all animal products from your diet, more power to you… that’s great. I choose not to go that particular dietary route. I like the taste of red meat, and pork and chicken, seafood and have even noshed on frog legs on occasion, but I cannot, will not, eat veal. I know that’s hypocritical, but that’s how I roll.
2. Wear Crocs. Ugly ass shoes, worse than Birkenstocks, worse than Earthshoes.
3. Burger King – until the company completely does away with that incredibly creepy King character as a commercial model, I will not be dining on Whoppers. I haven’t been in a restaurant since 2003.
4. I made a vow, even as a young girl, that when I had children of my own I would never say to them ‘if you don’t stop crying, I’ll give you something to cry about.’ I had a prefectly good reason to cry, you were scaring the piss out of me. My kids are 16 and 20, they have never heard me utter that phrase.
5. Brussels Sprouts – need I say more?
6. Watch South Park – the idea of watching a 30 minutes cartoon about kids, and their raunchy humor is not my idea of entertainment. Not much of a bathroom joke fan.
7. Apparently I also boycott Nestlé, but wasn’t aware to what extent until I perused a product list. The pets are abstaining too.
8. Wear a thong… women over age 40 and over 160 pounds ~ and I can say this cuz I am both ~ should not rely on a teabag and dental floss to adequately cover their girlie pieces. Whale tail is not just a euphemism for a flash of fabric over her waistband.
9. The same can be said for wearing skinny jeans, spandex leggings, cropped Ts or wife-beaters, no bra and going commando. I refuse to age into a Wal-Mart person.
10. Read any of the books in the Twilight series, or see any of the movies.
Tell me, what do you refuse to participate in, what is completely off limits, even for you?
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