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Mr. Monk Is The Best Man

So as you may or may not be aware, I have been avoiding spoilers for the final season of "Monk" as if they were hamthrax germs -- so terrified of having some plot twist ruined for me that I have been trying to avoid discussing theories about what will happen, not to mention actual confirmed spoilers.* The end of "Monk" is bigger for me than the end of Harry Potter -- is bigger, for me, even than PotC:AWE** -- and while I'm more grateful than I can say that the ending of AWE remained unspoiled for me, I gotta tell ya, if I can just make it to the end of "Monk" spoiler-free, I'll finally let that Harry Potter thing go. Because I'll consider it a more than worthy trade-off.

* [Lest you think this is a case of overkill paranoia, keep in mind that somebody spoiled Harry Potter's Book 7 fate for me by sharing a theory they had read online. Even though it was just a theory, the INSTANT my friend said it, I knew it was how the book was going to turn out -- and indeed it did. It was a theory that had never occurred to me, but once I heard it I knew it couldn't go any other way; and the whole time I was reading the ending, I couldn't build up proper suspense for Harry's fate (sadness, yes; worry, no) because I knew that it would turn out the way my friend theorized. I was praying it _wouldn't_, that it would turn out ANY other way just so that I wouldn't feel as if I'd been spoiled -- but it didn't. As I knew it wouldn't. And I'm still bummed about that. It wasn't a technical spoiler, but, as I say, the suspense was gone, and that _sucked_.]

** [ Lest you think I've lost my mind -- yes, Jack Sparrow is still Number One in my book. But the ending of AWE was not as important to Jack Sparrow in the same way that the ending of "Monk" is to Monk, if that makes sense. The PotC Trilogy was telling a definite story, but it was a nebulous, abstract story about Freedom, being told with numerous plot threads about numerous characters. "Monk" is telling ONE story, and I have been following that one specific story nonstop for eight years, and I just ... would REALLY like the ending to be a surprise. If we can manage that, Universe. Okay?
Incidentally, I was in line at the grocery store a few days ago, and I saw the cover of TV Guide with Monk and Natalie in a little box photo and it said "Monk Series Finale Secrets!" or something like that and I COULD ACTUALLY _FEEL_ THE MAGAZINE LOOKING AT ME BUT I DID NOT PICK IT UP, thank you.]

So you can imagine my disappointment when I made the egregious error of trying to check the "Monk" website for something else entirely and ended up seeing the title for this upcoming episode. Granted, it wasn't a complete surprise -- even though the preview said a life-changing event was in store for somebody, given how many shots there were of T.K., my top guess was already for Stottlemeyer getting married. But once I saw the title, I knew -- it simply couldn't be anybody else. (I considered whether it could possibly be Randy -- and Sharona -- for about seven seconds, then discarded the idea completely; if it had been Randy getting married, it would have been Stottlemeyer being the best man, I was sure of it.)

But it's a small quibble of a disappointment, given that it was obvious since the moment Stottlemeyer met her that Stottlemeyer would be marrying T.K. at some point; it was only a question of when. And, too, the episode got to the point before the theme song played, in one of the sweetest opening teasers they've ever done. Monk's excited delight at working out that Stottlemeyer was about to ask T.K. to marry him, everybody else's elated responses (with Natalie and T.K. getting all teary-eyed), Stottlemeyer eventually resigned to his ruined surprise and T.K. happily insisting that he go through with the evening he had planned out (if with maybe one little peek at the ring before they go). Everyone is so _happy_ for Stottlemeyer, and for T.K. too, that I was getting choked up myself -- and this all before the theme song, which has to be some kind of record for me.

This was really Stottlemeyer's episode -- _blatantly_ Stottlemeyer's episode, to the degree that it was more or less clear to me that the final three episodes were going to be focused pretty solely on Monk, and that this was the episode they were going to be tying up other characters' loose ends in, at least to some degree. (More on that in the next episode's review, actually.) Still, for all it's definitely Stottlemeyer's chance to shine, there were some moments with Monk that cracked me up and broke my _heart_. There was his bachelor party for Stottlemeyer (when the one cop said, "Uh -- there's a bathroom in the bathroom," and we see the door of the Porta-John, I laughed like a _hyena_ and threw my arms out towards the screen in a "you are too much" sort of gesture of pure affection -- and let me mention once again, yes, I will be making sure to watch the final episodes of this show _alone_, for obvious reasons); there were the coasters and the _painful_ joke and the one-beer-per-guy rule (God bless you, Randy). There was the scene in Stottlemeyer's office when T.K. has left him and Stottlemeyer is almost weeping, having pretty much given up, and Monk is shaking his head, determined to figure out this mystery, determined to solve this so that his friend can get married, determined that his friend _will_ get married. There is the entire running gag of the wedding ring, which Monk will not let go of, cumulating in that fabulous line of, "I picked the right man for the job," and I'd be hard pressed to tell you who was grinning bigger at that, Monk or me.

And then there was that beautiful moment when Stottlemeyer, a bit tentatively, asks Monk if he's sure he's okay with T.K.'s name being Trudy, and Monk gives a real smile of happiness, not a trace of sadness or anger or jealously in his eyes or his voice, and, legitimately happy for his friend, says, "Everyone should have a Trudy in their life."

More blubbering at the screen. I can only imagine what the series finale is gonna do to me, let me tell ya.

But this was, in the end, Stottlemeyer's episode, and I was reminded once again of how subtly awesome an actor Ted Levine really is.* It almost makes me want to watch "The Silence of the Lambs," except that A.) I'm not sure I want to see Captain Stottlemeyer as an insane murdering lady-skin-wearing psychopath, which I'd then have to try to get out of my head every time I watch "Monk" -- and the show isn't even over yet, and also B.) anyway, no. But all the same -- the guy is awesome. So many moments of love: trotting up the hill to a grizzly murder scene while joyfully singing (and let's not forget "Holy monkey," which is the first time I can remember that particular term popping up in the show but has already become my new favorite catchphrase), trying desperately to laugh off Monk's faux-pas duck joke because Stottlemeyer knows full well that Monk means no harm (poor guy is just humor-impaired when it comes to deliberate comedy), his part in the scene with Monk after T.K. has left him. Indeed, Monk and Stottlemeyer's friendship has become one of my favorite things about the series over the years, and their scenes together in this episode shone. I loved the summation, with Monk trying to explain "here's what happened" and, when T.K.'s bitchy evil "friend" tries to tell him to shut up, Stottlemeyer is right there to back Monk up: "Yeah, he really can't stop once he gets going."

* [To be fair, this happens to me pretty much once every four episodes.]

And speaking of T.K.'s bitchy friend, Stephanie* -- I have to tell you, maybe this will go away once we reach the series finale (tomorrow tomorrow part one tomorrow ohmigawd), but I have never, EVER hated a bad guy on "Monk" (or in any other film/show, for that matter) with as much hatred as I did Stephanie. The moment she, T.K., and Stottlemeyer were emerging from the jail, way at the episode's beginning, I KNEW she had to be Up To Something, and when things started to go bad there was zero doubt in my mind that she was the cause. And I hated her. OH, did I HATE her! I was hollering and fist-shaking and kicking towards the screen, because, being on TV and, y'know, fictional and all, I had to settle for fist-shaking when I really wanted to reach into the screen and _strangle_ her. It was getting so bad that I was seriously starting to wonder if they weren't going to let Stottlemeyer get married after all, even though it seemed unlikely that they'd bother to introduce T.K. only to write her out again; they've already taken away Stottlemeyer's love interests TWICE before, after all. Going three for three didn't really seem to have any point, especially after last year's Christmas episode, especially this close to the end. But still -- they really had me starting to wonder.

* [And I DO hope I'm not the only Twi-hater to have been fiercely delighted by her clearly-untrustworthy name.]

So you can probably guess how much I wanted to hug Natalie when she talked to T.K. about Mitch. And speaking of that scene ... I have always liked T.K., since the moment she was introduced, but when she explained that Stottlemeyer offered her his badge and she promptly gave it back to him, I knew this was the lady for Stottlemeyer. (Which just made me hate Stephanie all that much _more_, that she was making this awesome lady suffer so much, for some reason we didn't even know about yet. OH I HATED HER.) And then T.K. is saying that she just can't take being a cop's wife, or something along those lines, and Natalie is making a face, and T.K. asks if she doesn't agree ... and Natalie gives that beautiful speech about how much she misses Mitch but how that doesn't make her regret her decision to marry him, that they only had eight years but that she would have married him for eight minutes. I loved it not only because it was such a beautiful, supportive thing for her to say, but because it was another clear shot of Natalie's strength, of her resilience, and that resilience goes hand in hand with her tremendous capacity to love, and ... she is just my hero, I don't know how else to say it.

So I loved that scene, and I loved watching Stottlemeyer and Monk working together, and I loved Randy's "new" song for the newly-married couple, and I loved that Natalie and Monk -- the widow and widower -- were both able to step forward and, in their own ways, help Stottlemeyer and T.K. make it down the aisle. (It also made it _very_ fitting that Natalie replaced Stephanie as T.K.'s maid of honor, on a couple of levels.) I loved the tension of the summation scene, Stephanie jamming a gun against Monk's side and Monk still whistling in the dark loud and clear (along with Stottlemeyer, for that matter). I loved watching T.K. run back to Stottlemeyer, even though my heart was in my mouth wondering if it was about to all go wrong _again_ -- and so I FIERCELY approved of their arrest of Stephanie, of Stottlemeyer slamming her just a bit against the side of the van, which she MORE than had coming, thank you very much. "That hurt!" / "Good." (I get frustrated sometimes with that "men should never hit a woman" crap, because it sometimes extends to ludicrous proportions; why _shouldn't_ a guy be allowed to defend himself against a woman? Watching Stottlemeyer hurl Stephanie onto the hood of a car the way he did with the guy who caused a truck to wreck into Karen's car -- that would have been a bit hard to take -- but smacking Steph a bit against the side of a van? BRING IT ON, CAPTAIN, WE HATE HER QUITE A LOT. Nicely played.)

I loved the wedding on the beach, with Stottlemeyer prying the ring out of Monk's frozen hand, and the sunset procession (Monk offering his arm for Natalie to take, so sweet!), and Randy's guitar strumming to round out the episode. It was a beautiful, wonderfully-crafted episode, and really quite precious, because in a lot of ways, even before the preview for next week's episode, I knew it was the last time we'd see a "Monk" episode that wasn't life-changing for our Adrian. And don't get me wrong, I want the life-changing stuff for Monk, I'm looking _forward_ to the life-changing stuff -- but in a lot of ways, we were saying goodbye to the regular ol' show in this episode.

It was quite a lovely send-off.




Happy Turkey Day, everyone!

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