Humor Loaded
I’ve always been attracted to the working man, squared shoulders and a set, hardened jaw, spinach-fueled forearms, and calloused hands. It’s not the fear of danger that I like, it’s not some misguided antiquated desire to be controlled or anything like that (very real, I know, hello Twilight fans, gulp)–no. There is absolutely nothing about being dominated, nothing about an angry man, that I find remotely palatable. Rather, it’s the work ethic, the utter capable-ness, and, maybe hottest of all, watching the softness sneak out. I love a good study in contrasts, the thrill of surprise, a healthy dose of you-can’t-box-me-in with a dash of wipe-that-smirk-off-your-face for good measure. Watching a man in head-to-toe camouflage on the floor playing Barbies is my aphrodisiac, particularly when the Barbies start talking about grad school and martial arts in thick, gruff voices. Go on with your bad self, macho man.
The thing is, my husband and I are the ultimate study in contrasts. If I’m attracted to a good dichotomy, I must want to make out something fierce with my marriage, run my tongue over his Red to my Blue, fondle his blow gun. (I’m not kidding, the man has a blow gun. It’s on the closet shelf next to his remote control tank.) Of course, a fine sense of humor doesn’t hurt either, like when we were discussing Halloween costumes this year and Dave suggested I go as a ticket booth. When I stared blankly back at him he shrugged, “You know. For the GUN SHOW.” And he flexed.
Yep.
On Saturday night I tweeted
and it’s true, that’s what we were doing. I was knitting because that’s what I do, soft, lazy things, all day long. I rise and I immediately make the bed, all down and plush and handmade quilts, because I like order and clean, I like comfort, I like stillness, I like peace. I see my family off and I drive to my writing studio where it’s cool and quiet, and I turn on every single lamp. I slide into fuzzy slippers and don my shawl and I think, and I write, and I sit very still. I go back home and I greet my children, shower them in mushy kisses and whisper over and over again I am so proud of you, I am so proud of you, I am so proud of you. Then I burrow into my corner of the couch with my knitting, or my book, or my cuddly iPhone, and I watch as the three remaining members of my family (and the dogs) attempt to decimate each other in an impromptu imaginary mud wrestling match on the floor. I smile and I hum, One of these things is not like the other as I knit and purl to their jagged beat.
My husband is a proud Republican; I briefly considered having Obama’s name tattooed across my thigh. I have at least one jam-packed bookcase in six of the seven rooms of our house; My husband has a book entitled “Backyard Ballistics.” I write; He pounds nails. I make lists; He crumples them up and uses them for the woodstove. I sit back and tell my daughters how much I love them; He rolls up his sleeves and wrestles them until they feel it. (I like to think that, between the two of us, they’re gonna be just fine. Pick and choose your poison, darlings. Pick and choose your love, however you feel it best, just so you know it’s there.)
The reason Dave was cleaning his guns Saturday night is because we’d spent that day, as a family, shooting. We got together with a few friends and used 20 different guns (and dozens of safety measures, mom) to shoot off thousands of rounds for over five hours. It’s not my usual thing but I like poking my head inside Dave’s world every once in a while and sniffing around; more than that, I like anything that teaches my kids a little something more about life, because I believe knowledge is its own special brand of ammunition, and I like my kids locked and loaded.
On my blog you see my softness, my heart, my pink, silky guts. I remember once I posted a picture with a Harley Davidson and you all about lost your minds, you were so surprised, crying, I had no idea! and This is not the you we know! Well here’s the thing, I like not being in a box, too. It’s why I like so many of you, you, who might not like each other. It’s why I believe we are all, each of us, interesting and unique and just right. It’s how I want my daughters to walk through this world–side by side with everyone they meet. Not behind, but not in front, either. If there was one thing I could change about this life it’s all the criticism and judgment I’m exposed to every single day. It’s just no way to live.
Dave, honey, my love, my baffling beast of a man, I don’t always understand you but I want you to know, for the record, that I value every single thing you are teaching our daughters, too. That just because I’m one of those liberal hippie types you make fun of regularly with relatively illegible mass email forwards, it doesn’t mean I don’t honor every single atom of your being and appreciate all you bring to this family. That even though I cringed and refused to look at the deer carcass you hefted home last night, I appreciate that we’ll be eating grass-fed, local meat without having to support some plastic packaged upscale supermarket chain to get it. I want you to know, that I know, there’s more than one way to skin this parenting beast.
I want our kids exposed to all the best parts of each of us, even if the rest of the world doesn’t think those parts fit together. Because I know they do, in the most stunning, crystallized, glitter-speckled kaleidoscope kind of way, 17 years strong now. So, yes. Guns, when used responsibly, can be pretty cool. (Though not quite as cool as your arms wrapped around our girls, gently guiding them through the motions of this world.)
Just don’t forget knitting is cool, too.
*nerdy fist pump*
It’s Not So Easy Breaking Up With Sarah Walker
Dude! Do you have any idea what it’s like to be a relationship that’s so upsetting that it keeps you up at night?
Chuck’s familiar with that. He’s had more than frustrations – he’s had nightmares and adrenaline rushes “up to here”. Being dangled off of buildings is not fun, right? And he wants to get off the roller coaster. He wants to put an end to it with Sarah, too.
But exactly what is it that he wants to end? The cover?
Chuck: Sometimes I don’t even know what lie I’m telling.
Sarah: Tell them, we’re taking things slowly, and… while we enjoy each other’s company, we don’t feel the need to label it and “who knows what the future holds” for us.
Chuck: But that’s just another lie. Isn’t it? We’ll never really be together.
Chuck really is having trouble telling one from the other, and more than anything else, more than playing keep-away with grenades and even more than being this far (hold up two fingers!) from being blown up in an exploding nerd-herder, he’s wants his confusion about Sarah to end.
Can’t she help him, at least a little, with that confusion? Well, maybe not.
Chuck: Exactly. – Exactly, and that’s why we should break up.
Sarah: Is that what you really want?
That’s a big question – What do you really want? Sarah is anxious and nervous, unable to either look Chuck in the eye, or even stand still, for that matter. If you haven’t noticed that, trust me on this – it’s what poker players call a ‘tell’. She shifts from foot to foot as she dodges the question.
Like it or not, Chuck has ended – something. As Ellie has suggested, he has, at least, taken control of the situation, and we can see that the cover is over for them. But the real relationship, the one that Chuck has forced himself to believe never was, and the one that Sarah is in deep denial over (and the most annoying relationship of Casey’s life), well that appears to be over too. But, you see, it’s not that easy to break up with Sarah Walker. It’s a bit – complicated, and she is not going to make it easy on him.
Enter Jonathan Cake as Beefcake. Ladies? Please tell me what you would do in Sarah’s situation. Chuck’s been something less than completely happy since Christmas, and with the exception of holding her hand once, he’s done absolutely nothing to move their relationship forward, or to even help her do that. Chuck’s frustrated? She’s frustrated! And Sarah’s at least as frustrated with him as she is with the situation. She can’t resist taking a shot at Chuck when she flirts with “the mark”.
Cole: If we’re going to continue this conversation, then I think I should make one thing abundantly clear. I’m not a very nice guy.
Sarah: Good. ‘Cause I’m not into nice guys.
Cole: Really? Why is that?
Sarah: Well, all they want to do is talk about their emotions and feelings. And sometimes what a woman really wants is a man who acts.
And Chuck catches that – right between the eyes.
In this episode, we see Chuck fumble and stumble, and be insecure and more whiny than I can remember. I’ve stated in the past that if there was one thing I didn’t enjoy about this episode, it’s seeing Chuck at his clumsiest and most nerd-ish (like when he fumbles the computer chip, and like when he fumbles his entrance into Cole Barker’s room). But you know, when Sarah needs help, when he has to break the door down, he does it, the second time, with a forceful and even stylish flare we don’t see again until “Kung-Fu Chuck”. Before he knows that Cole is not a Fulcum agent, Chuck tells him off (You just keep your mouth shut. We’ll deal with you later). He’s not insecure at that moment – he’s almost angry.
And no wonders. Sarah never looks so attractive (ahem – to Chuck, fans!) as when she’s seducing the mark. So if the cover relationship is dead, it’s generating an awful lot heat for a corpse.
The problem, of course, is the presence of super-spy and all around good guy, Cole Barker, MI6. Next to him, all of Chuck’s flaws and failings tend to be – um – magnified. And that comparison is stark indeed when Cole, Chuck and Sarah are caught by Fulcrum (because Chuck has directly disobeyed Sarah’s orders) and interrogated by Alexis White (played by Katrina Law).
Here’s a secret, though, and one that you may have missed. Both Sarah and Cole notice that Chuck does the wrong thing for the right reasons. He’ll give himself up to save them both. Chuck faints and doesn’t appear to have an ounce of bravery anywhere, except that he does. It comes out when he admits to being the intersect.
There are precious few things I know about in this world, but Chuck is one of them…
When Chuck is around Sarah, he is the Chuck we always dreamed of, all right – the Chuck that has the potential to do anything in the world.
What does Sarah think about Cole? You think I’m falling for this? Trust me – you’re not that charming. Yes, we see her examining Cole’s record of heroism and his honors, but Sarah has to remember her advice to Anna about Jason Wang about comparisons. No, that’s bad. Morgan’s the guy you keep comparing him to. Replace “Morgan” with “Chuck”, of course.
But two things happen to give ’shippers pause. The first is Sarah’s order to Chuck to DO NOTHING about the computer chip (Just go back to the Buy More. We’ll Call you when it’s over.). He’s feeling rather useless. The second is the kiss that Cole steals. And Sarah seems to let him.
Buttering the Muffin
Ellie: I just think that, once you let her go, it’s going to be really hard to get – her – back.
Awesome: Seriously, Chuck. What were you thinking?
Sarah does tell Cole outright that she’s not interested, so the score stands at Chuck – 0, Sarah – 0, Cole – 0. Chuck has one thing going for him, though. That’s Casey, telling him constantly what the score is.
Chuck: We have different methods.
Casey (looking at Sarah helping Cole): Looks like his method is working.
Sarah herself is not unaware of what Chuck has been dealing with, and is quite capable herself of conflating their cover and their real relationship.
Sarah: I’m really proud of you, Chuck. It’s not easy to withstand torture.
Chuck: You just have to know what buttons to push.
…
Sarah: You’ve had a lot of practice enduring torture, with our – fake – relationship.
Chuck: Well, it wasn’t completely torture. We certainly had our moments. Didn’t we?
Sarah: Well, even though it wasn’t real, I’m really going to miss it.
That’s sweet, but it’s also a big acknowledgement that, just like he wanted, the relationship is over. Chuck still thinks he’s okay with that.
In one last, almost desperate but timely attempt to seduce her, Cole does indeed do some buttering. Why not? Sarah is – let’s say – unattached. Not that attachment would deter Cole in any event…
Cole: Feel free to say ‘no’, but the government has sent a fully-loaded G4 to fly me back to London. I figure – same amount of fuel, we can go to Figi.
Sarah: Sorry. I – need to work.
Cole: Okay – change of tactic, the truth. I really need a vacation, and it looks like you do too. All I can offer you is some good company, warm sun and lots of wild passion, because the truth is I think you’re a breathtakingly beautiful woman. You’ve spent so much time worrying about someone else that you’ve forgotten about yourself.
Sarah: I’ve got work to do!
Now the score is Chuck 0, Sarah – 0 and Cole has one stolen kiss. Has Sarah erred? Her quick “goodbye” told me then that she may have some immediate regrets. But the damage is done, because Chuck has been spying. If he wanted to change his mind about “the cover”, or about anything, it’s too late.
He’s certain, now, that “it” is over. And to his chagrin, Chuck is no longer “okay with that.”
And all that without a single reference to the “B” story. If you’ve forgotten, it can be summoned to memory by singing two words – “Casting Couch!” Model Brooklyn Decker slapping both Chuck and Morgan for Jeff and Lester’s misdeeds was worth a chuckle, but in general, the Buy More scenes were gratuitous and more sophomoric than usual.
There are various reasons that Beefcake doesn’t appear in anyone’s top five favorite Chuck episode list. It hardly stands alone in any meaningful way (it wasn’t meant to). It leaves anyone who cares about Chuck and Sarah (and that is everyone) downcast. Just as Chuck is confused between his fake and his real relationship with Sarah (and because she feeds that confusion), we are confused. The emotional state of every character is a jumbled mess, and it’s difficult to understand their actions as characters. The “B” story is forgettable, and the humor is sometimes adolescent. Those are valid concerns to have about the episode.
But I don’t think it’s right to say that Chuck and Sarah are acting out of character, or that they are acting particularly cruelly to each other (especially on Sarah’s part). Some of that is what we are led to believe by crafty storytellers trying to make us see things primarily through Chuck’s eyes. And he is confused. It’s hard to take; this is by no means an episode that can be used to introduce newcomers to the show. But seen in context after Suburbs (which must be seen after Santa Claus), it does stand up to repeated viewings, because the story here is emotionally deep – we are very much involved with the inner lives of the characters now.
It’s just that, considering what’s coming in the next few weeks, you may not want to bother.
I’d like you to consider one thing, though, before retiring (or condemning!) Beefcake. Chuck and Sarah will have a relationship that is ultimately strengthened by exposure to other characters. Indeed, no relationship can thrive in isolation.
- joe
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