Mathematics Humor
Medicine prize
To Donald Unger, a doctor in Thousand Oaks, California, who cracked the knuckles of his left hand, but never those on his right, every day for 60 years to investigate whether it caused arthritis. Unger, now 83, said: “After 60 years, I looked at my knuckles and there’s not the slightest sign of arthritis. I looked up to the heavens and said: ‘Mother, you were wrong, you were wrong, you were wrong.’ ”
What I think: Wow, 83 years old and this guy still has mommy issues.
Chemistry prize
Javier Morales shares the award with two colleagues at the National University of Mexico for turning the national drink, tequila, into diamonds. Thin films of diamond were produced by heating 80%-proof tequila blanco in a pressure vessel.
What I think: So if I suck on it, will it taste like tequila?
Physics prize
Awarded to Katherine Whitcome at the University of Cincinnati and colleagues for a detailed explanation of why pregnant women do not topple over. “Pregnancy presents an enormous challenge for the female body,” Whitcome explained. “It turns out that enhanced curvature and reinforcement of the lower spine are key to maintaining normal activities during pregnancy.”
What I think: How hard was that to figure out? They have a lower center of gravity, hence they don’t fall over.
Biology prize
Fumiaki Taguchi, Song Guofu and Zhang Guanglei of Kitasato University graduate school of medical sciences in Japan share the prize for demonstrating that kitchen waste can be reduced by more than 90% by using bacteria extracted from giant panda excrement. Taguchi suspected panda faeces must contain bacteria capable of breaking down even the hardiest of foods because of the bear’s vast consumption of bamboo.
What I think: I wonder if these guys cruised bars in Tokyo trying to pick up women.
Woman in bar: What do you do?
Scientist: I’m a research scientist.
Woman in bar: Oh. (bored)
Scientist: I work with pandas.
Woman in bar: Oh, their so cute! (excited) What do you do with them?
Scientist: I examine their feces to see if it can eat bacteria.
Woman in bar: I’m not really into that kind of thing.
Mathematics prize
Awarded to Gideon Gono, governor of Zimbabwe’s Reserve Bank, for giving people a simple way of dealing with a wide range of numbers. Gono ordered his bank to print notes with denominations ranging from one cent to one hundred trillion dollars.
What I think: Why is there a prize for hyperinflation? What else was he going to do print smiley faces on the currency?
It is an age old question. It has kept many a man up at night,pencil in hand,scribbling figures and measurements endlessly on ream after ream of paper. Still it perplexes even the most astute scholar of mathematics:How many lights should I put on my tree?When decorating indoor and outdoor trees for the holiday season,just how many lights should be used?The Christmas Light Source has found a solution to the problem. No more sleepless nights,no more endless formulas to compute. No,all you have to do is visit their website to see the Christmas Lights Calculator and answer a couple of questions to find out pretty much instantly how many lights you should put on your tree. While not everyone decorates their tree the same way,this tool is a good place to start. Individual taste usually dictates how many lights a tree should have. What is simple to one person may be extravagant to another. There are not hard fast rules,but there are some standards that can work as guidelines for designing the perfect tree. The tool calculates the size of the tree and the type of lights that the person intends to use. It then recommends how many lights should be used,but they can do more or less,depending on personal taste. The calculator is intended for trees that have kept their leaves. In the case of a tree that has lost its leaves,Christmas Light Source recommends using up to half of that number of lights. For indoor trees,they suggest adding 30% to the highest recommended amount of lights if you like your Christmas tree lighting to be over the top. It should also be noted that the tool is trees. “We had so many people calling in asking for advice,”says Shellie Gardner,co-owner of Christmas Light Source. “So we thought we’d create this tool to give them an easy way to see what changing the sets of lights would do for the quantity that would be required. “And it is certainly doing its job. Along with pithy but fun comments returned to users,the little tool keeps with the lightheartedness and humor that is prevalent throughout the Christmas Light Source website. They have managed to solve yet another holiday dilemma with a creative,effective,user friendly tool. Now,if they could only solve the fruitcake issue. . . Christmas Light Source is a one stop shopping source for Christmas lighting needs. From hardware to lights and everything in between,Christmas Light Source has everything for holiday lighting decor as well as tips,tricks and do it yourself projects. For more information,visit their website at christmas-light-source. com.
Gallery:
> |
 |
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
Video:
Bookmark it:
